Barnyard Talk "How Could You Choose This?" by Justine

"How could you choose this?" It's hard to explain to those who love us but can't comprehend our craving to submit. Mother, sister, friend... Do you worry about me? Do you judge me? Do you think I've been brainwashed, inculcated, pressured, or abused? Do you see my choice to submit as a huge rebuff of women's liberation and do you feel the need to stand up for women everywhere? Do you see my chosen lifestyle as a sad loss of opportunities without being able to conceive of the rewards? Do you assume that every "normal" woman sees things the way you do, so there must be something wrong with me? Are you trying to save me from myself?

It's hard for us to have this talk when we're coming from such very different places. So instead of talking just now, let's listen in to a barnyard conversation, where we find our friend the cat is every bit as baffled by the horse as you are baffled by me.

Says Cat to the horse, "Look at you. Bit in your mouth. Bridle. Reins. Every day Man saddles you. You let Man mount you! You let Man ride you! You let Man crop you, spur you, whip you! I've seen you collared and harnessed, pulling a cart! What kind of beast are you, to take treatment like that? How can you live like this?"

Says Horse to the cat, "I'm happy living as I live."

"Happy?" scoffs Cat. "How can you be happy, living under Man's rule? Don't you remember how happy you were when you were a colt, before Man got to you? I watched you tearing across the fields with the wind in your mane, browsing in the grasses, resting in the shade of a tree, not a care in the world, every breath, every movement by your own will. Don't you remember the joy of being free?"

"I remember," says Horse. "Those were happy days. I still love tearing across the fields with the wind in my mane. I still love browsing in the grasses and resting in the shade of the tree. I still get to do those things, when Man lets me. But you see, I still don't have a care in the world, because Man takes care of me. And as much as I enjoyed the freedom of my youth, even more do I love the different sort of freedom that comes from putting myself in Man's hands."

Cat shakes her dainty head and licks a paw. "I can hardly believe it possible that you could mean what you say. Sure, I can see where you'd enjoy the curry brush and the treats. I like a good petting myself, and I'm happy when Man puts out a meal for me so I don't always have to catch it myself. But if Man ever tried to put a bit in my mouth, I'd scratch his eyes out!"

"I'm sure you would," said Horse. "This life is not for everyone. You're much too independent for Man's rule. I respect that. I'm not trying to change you. Just because you would hate my life, why can't you respect that this is what makes me happy?"

"Because I think you're making a mistake," says Cat. "I think you've forgotten your roots. I think Man has pulled a fast one on you and you've fallen for it. I can't sit by and let you be taken advantage of by Man."

"You really can't believe I'm happy," says Horse sadly.

"No, I can't," says Cat. "Go ahead. Try to convince me. What's there to be happy about, being broken by Man, being forced to do whatever he wants?"

Horse lifts her head a little. "I was afraid at first. He startled me and I bolted. He put a rope around my neck and I fought back. But he was patient and persistent, and he understood my fears. He spoke kindly to me when I calmed down. He rewarded me when I came to him. And over time, the things that had scared me weren't scary any more. When Man comes to put the bit in my mouth and the bridle on my head and the saddle on my back, I am happy now. I feel secure. I feel wanted. I know he's going to ride me hard, but I know he'll be pleased with me, and somehow that's all that matters to me now. When I obey him well, I know I've pleased him. That is my reward. That is my reason for being, now. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Hmmm, not every Man is a good Master like yours," says the Cat. "What if he grows tired of you and sells you to another? What will happen when you grow old and are of no use to him any more? You've forgotten how to take care of yourself. What would you do?"

"I hope my Master will never abandon me," says Horse. "That is part of why I do my best to please him, so that he'll want to keep me always. But if the time comes when I can no longer serve him well, I hope he will be kind enough to find a quiet pasture or a less demanding home for me. I need to trust him in this. I've put my life in his hands, and I know he'll keep me safe."

"You're stuck in the barn!" says Cat. "Man invites me into the house, sometimes even into his bed. He lets me come and go as I please. He showers me with attention and I don't have to do a thing in return. I just purr. And even then I just purr to please myself, not Man. Why would you choose such a hard life when you could have an easy life like mine?"

"But you see, your life would not be easy for me. I would be a complete misfit if I tried to lead your life. And Man knows it, even if you don't. Man knows which beasts are meant for petting and which beasts are meant to be ruled. He pets me too, in the way I like best. But I know my place. My place is under him, not beside him."

"You're a disgrace to animals everywhere. Man should not presume to rule over anyone. If he wants a cart pulled, let him pull it himself!"

"Even though he is my Master, there are some things I do better than he," says Horse with a modest nicker. "That is part of why he values me so highly. You might think he treats me poorly, but I know he prizes me. He gives me purpose."

"I'll never understand you!" meows Cat.

"And is that due to a shortcoming in me or a shortcoming in your perception and compassion?" asks Horse.

"Well, you know what I think about that," says Cat.

"Yes I do. And so I think all we can do is to agree to disagree. I ask that you try to trust that I know what's best for me. I was born to this. I didn't know it at first, but when I accepted Man as my Master, I knew it was right. I thrive under Man's rule. I don't want to choose my own path any more. I made that choice the day I accepted the reins of Man. The path he wants for me is my path. It's as simple as that. And I am very happy."

Cat jumps off the fence, muttering to herself, "Nothing more to say. Silly old Horse. Bits. Bridles. Spurs..."

We may look the same on the outside, you and I. But on the inside we are two different beasts, just like Cat and Horse. What is right for me may not be right for you. What is right for you does not suit me. I was born to this. I have found fulfillment in service to my Man. Be happy for me!